My parents named their children after the lamest IKEA products
As my parents prepared for my two brothers and I to be born they debated potential names. They considered male and female names (not finding out the sex in advance), names of relatives and Hebrew names. One thing I’m sure they didn’t consult was the product listing of a Swedish lifestyle store that would not come to America until I was three years old.
Yes, my brothers and I all share names with IKEA products. And they are all very lame.
Dave’s namesake product is probably the best, but only in comparison to Rob and I.
He is lucky enough to be a totally sweet laptop table, retailing for $17.99, a fortune compared to Rob & I. In fact there’s an $80 version of the “Dave” that almost looks like it could be usable, but perhaps only in the home of Todd and Margot from Christmas Vacation.
Rob doesn’t even get his own standalone product, but hey, he is the youngest sibling.
A bracket. Ouch. Retailing at $7.50 the “Ekby Robert” is the cheapest brother/IKEA product.
I feel that I kind of get screwed the most, mainly because I’ve seen this actual product and it’s terrible.
Meet the “Jeff”, the chintziest plastic folding chair known to mankind. K of C’s and church basements deserve better than this. It’s an embarrassment to Jeffs everywhere.
I don’t expect another brother anytime soon, but if I were to have another sibling, that kid’s name better be something like Malm or Kivik.
